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Rules for Living with a Teenage Daughter

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I’m a lucky Mom! Look at my two beautiful daughters! I took this picture of them over the weekend. I’m framing this one!

Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’m the mom to a 21 (almost 22) year old and 13 year old.

Allison started her first day of 8th grade this morning. (still a little dark out when she left)

I SO can NOT believe she will be in high school next year

Allison first day of 8th grade

After taking her picture in the front yard, just as we did last year (click here to see) and all the years before, I walked back into the house and noticed something I’ve had hanging on our refrigerator for years. I thought today would be a good day to share these rules with my readers.

Rules for Living with a TEENAGE Daughter

1) Never engage in a shouting match with your daughter. If she screams, bite your tongue, lower your voice and say anything you feel compelled to say in a voice only slightly above a whisper. If you can’t manage that, tell her quietly that your will discuss the subject with her when you are calmer.

2) Never let her reduce your to tears. When she gets out of hand, send her to her room, deprive her of a privilege, but don’t let her defeat you.

3) Let her know you love her. Tell her the next time she rages at you that there is nothing she can say that will cause you to stop loving her. You may not like her behavior, but she is your daughter and you are committed to loving her, so let her know she might as well stop trying to alienate you. (There will be times when you can’t stand her, but remember, you’re probably not lovable all the time either.)

4) Touch her a lot. This is important! When she’s glued to the TV and you pass by her chair, reach out and pat her. Give her lots of hugs and don’t be put off by her groans or pulling away.

5) Try not to criticize too often. Suggest if you must, but don’t be on her back about every little thing. Save your “nos” and “don’ts” for biggies, and MAKE THEM STICK.

6) Listen to HER. No matter what she says, all she wants is for your to love her.

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I don’t remember where I found this list, but I put it up years ago, and even though I don’t follow it 24/7, I often stop and read it, and remind myself to “breath”……they’re not teens for ever!

So I will go pick Allison up from her first day of 8th grade, hear all about “who wore what”, what her teachers are like, and who she has classes with (and who she doesn’t).

Basketball tryout start Wednesday!

Good-bye Summer!

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About TidyMom

A self-proclaimed neat freak, Cheryl chronicles her journey through homemaking on her blog, TidyMom.net, where she shares recipes, tutorials, crafting and her ever-growing love for photography. This St. Louis mom juggles her passion for life, her daughters and her tiger-loving husband, all while her obsession with tidiness cleans up the trail blazed behind her. Google+

Comments

  1. 1
    Denise @ Life on Stepping Stone Lane says:

    This is very good advice! I wish I had had something like that on my fridge while my oldest daughter was a teenager! I had to learn all of this from trial and error. (ok, mostly error!!!) :)

  2. 2
    Denise @ Life on Stepping Stone Lane says:

    This is very good advice! I wish I had had something like that on my fridge while my oldest daughter was a teenager! I had to learn all of this from trial and error. (ok, mostly error!!!) :)

  3. 3

    Great rules and wonderful photos!!

  4. 4

    Great rules and wonderful photos!!

  5. 5

    Those are wonderful rules! Now if I can just remember them in 8 years…

    I am SO not ready for my daughters to be teenagers!!

  6. 6

    Those are wonderful rules! Now if I can just remember them in 8 years…

    I am SO not ready for my daughters to be teenagers!!

  7. 7

    I copied those rules and e-mailed them to myself for future reference. I am pregnant with my first, a little girl, and reading those hit me like a ton of bricks. It's hard to picture life beyond them being a baby, but I know those thoughts will come in very handy one day. Thank you!

  8. 8

    I copied those rules and e-mailed them to myself for future reference. I am pregnant with my first, a little girl, and reading those hit me like a ton of bricks. It's hard to picture life beyond them being a baby, but I know those thoughts will come in very handy one day. Thank you!

  9. 9

    Great pictures. Your girls are so pretty. I think a lot of those tips apply to my 5 year old! LOL!

  10. 10

    Great pictures. Your girls are so pretty. I think a lot of those tips apply to my 5 year old! LOL!

  11. 11
    Amy @ Living Locurto says:

    This is a wonderful post. I need to save it. I think I'll be needing this advice very soon… my 3 year old is already acting like a teenager! UGH! I love the black and white shot of the girls:-)

  12. 12
    Amy @ Living Locurto says:

    This is a wonderful post. I need to save it. I think I'll be needing this advice very soon… my 3 year old is already acting like a teenager! UGH! I love the black and white shot of the girls:-)

  13. 13

    Great tips! I will be there sooner than I'd like to think…my oldest is 11. I'm going to copy these for future reference.

  14. 14

    Great tips! I will be there sooner than I'd like to think…my oldest is 11. I'm going to copy these for future reference.

  15. 15
    Cathe Holden says:

    That photo of your daughters is so beautiful, I think I might even frame it!

    Thank you for this post. As you know, I have two 12 year olds, night and day. I'm gearing up, this is a great list I will aspire to follow.

  16. 16
    Cathe Holden says:

    That photo of your daughters is so beautiful, I think I might even frame it!

    Thank you for this post. As you know, I have two 12 year olds, night and day. I'm gearing up, this is a great list I will aspire to follow.

  17. 17

    Such good, sound advice :) I'm sending my twin girls to kindergarten in a few days. It feels a long way from high school, but I know it will be here before I know it.

    Glad to have found you through Melissa's Beautiful Life series!

  18. 18

    Such good, sound advice :) I'm sending my twin girls to kindergarten in a few days. It feels a long way from high school, but I know it will be here before I know it.

    Glad to have found you through Melissa's Beautiful Life series!

  19. 19
    TheOldPostRoad says:

    My 8th grade daughter fills my ears with who was mean to whom. Your girls are beautiful!

  20. 20
    TheOldPostRoad says:

    My 8th grade daughter fills my ears with who was mean to whom. Your girls are beautiful!

  21. 21
    The Stylish House says:

    Ahhh, yes I remember the not so distant teen years! Good rules to live by, and actually have a solid intact relationship at the end. Your daughters are beautiful. Enjoy your weekend!
    Cathy

  22. 22
    The Stylish House says:

    Ahhh, yes I remember the not so distant teen years! Good rules to live by, and actually have a solid intact relationship at the end. Your daughters are beautiful. Enjoy your weekend!
    Cathy

  23. 23
    Claudia@DipityRoad says:

    Good rules! I especially love the one about listening.

    The best time to really have a great visit– is drving in the car when you have her captive and yet you dont have to stare at one another :)

    Oh and yah… leave both cell phones turned OFF!

    TTFN~~ Claudia

  24. 24
    Claudia@DipityRoad says:

    Good rules! I especially love the one about listening.

    The best time to really have a great visit– is drving in the car when you have her captive and yet you dont have to stare at one another :)

    Oh and yah… leave both cell phones turned OFF!

    TTFN~~ Claudia

  25. 25
    Life in Rehab says:

    How funny. I made the hop over here from Domestically Speaking and saw a the You Might Also Like thumbnail for this post as I was nosing through. I find it funny because I just posted 10 Rules for My Daughter this morning. I must have been meant to see this. Excellent guidelines, and ones I live by.

  26. 26
    Life in Rehab says:

    How funny. I made the hop over here from Domestically Speaking and saw a the You Might Also Like thumbnail for this post as I was nosing through. I find it funny because I just posted 10 Rules for My Daughter this morning. I must have been meant to see this. Excellent guidelines, and ones I live by.

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